When I was little we used to take long road trips to Wisconsin to visit our family. Dusty and I (and eventually Shawn) would have games and books and music to entertain us in the car. One particular year I remember "sharing" GameBoy games with Dusty - trading Spy vs. Spy for Bart Simpson and the Juggernauts. My preference was Spy vs. Spy as I wasn't so great at knocking the Juggernauts off of their pedestals or beating them through the obstacle course. I was - however - quite good at the skate ramp! Bart had to skate down the ramp and up the other side, dodging pizza and potholes on the track. Then he jumped off the ramp and defeated the Juggernaut with a flying kick. Driving in Tel Aviv is kind of like this...
I learned to drive in Mansfield - pretty much the country. "Traffic" is 2 cars in front of you and distractions on the road include roadkill, deer crossings and the occasional (usually predictable) stop sign or stop light. Bart's Juggernaut ramp is the other end of the spectrum with unpredictable obstacles - Tel Aviv driving falls somewhere in between.
My drive to work starts by backing out over a metal pole that is about 2 inches thick, barely missing the car parked in my alley and dropping down off of the sidewalk into traffic. As I shift up into 2nd and 3rd gear...and pray that it all goes well. The cars to my far right are all parked - and I hope they stay parked. The cars to my right are moving now, but there is bound to be someone who double parks and blocks that lane so I try not to go there unless I have to (Reason #1). The cars to my left are driving at the same speed, but they may want to turn right - at which point they will cut me off. The lights change from Green to Yellow to Red in about 5 seconds - so don't run the yellows! We stop on average about every other block because of lights or double parked cars. Then there are the pedestrians who have crosswalks and lights for crossing, but when there is no light they can cross (at the crosswalk) at will. This is when we slam on the brakes. Finally there are the motos - smaller than motorcycles but bigger than scooters, they ride with the traffic and stop at lights, but go between cars, move faster and change lanes with greater frequency. (I also imagine they fly further when you hit them...but I don't want to find out).
Oh...and last week we learned about one more obstacle - nails. We had a pretty short but very sharp nail poke a hole in our tire. (This could be its own story - but we'll suffice to say the issue is resolved and no one was hurt.) Unlike Mansfield - houses are right on the street here, so construction crews usually take up the sidewalk and part of the right lane (Reason #2 not to drive there). This means that when they drop nails and screws and other sharp shards they land in the street...and stay there until some poor car comes along and takes one for the team. Reason #3 not to drive in the right lane - the nails. Asking around we've heard this is a frequent problem, especially on Saturday's as the Israeli's have Friday's off work so they do their housework and such then, throwing additional crap onto the roads.
So...the point is that driving in Tel Aviv is very different than in Mansfield. I've learned from Bart Simpson to avoid the obstacles in my path and to be aggressive in pulling out and switching lanes. I'm not fighting Juggernauts but by the time you visit I'll have this driving game down and you'll have nothing to fear. See...I've already identified the dangers and learned to deal with them! And best of all...with the low speeds, frequent stops and crowded roads it is virtually impossible to flip a car! So I'm safe :)
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